I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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