So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
