I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
