I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
