you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize