you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
