we're chasing vodka with high fives
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
