You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just cut my nipple shaving
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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