yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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