So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
