I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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