mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
