im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am in a vortex of obligation.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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