are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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