Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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