Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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