I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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