How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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