I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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