i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
