"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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