He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
