My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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