I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
