are you so shy because you have an std?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
