we're blogging at a bar
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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