genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize