Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
