The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
