I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
