Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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