Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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