erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Boobs are out for the taking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
