one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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