I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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