i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
