literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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