I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
