My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
