he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
