We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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