I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
