You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he puts the penis in happiness.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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