I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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