he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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