sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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