I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
