dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
