first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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