i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
