Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize