I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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