Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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