In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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