My room smells like vodka and shame
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
there is glitter all over my balls
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
