Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My dick has a subreddit
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
