I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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