why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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