you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize