I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're a waste of cheezeits
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
