idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
