So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize