I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
