I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
