i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
