I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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