Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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