sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Come see our sink grown plant.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
