Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
