Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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