normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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