Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
