please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
