Please, let me fuck your mom
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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