Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
