Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
