He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
